On the Last Comment

My time is limited with activity whether it be studying, going to events, work, etc. It means, I have no time to sit and stare at my ceiling and read a book for fun. Or sleep.

Hmmm...Friday.

So I had art history and it wasn't so bad. It was quite good, actually. I sat in a different place next to someone named Carter and it's better.

I have work in 22 minutes and should leave. But I get to see Tommy Makem tonight!!! I also have Hillel. I can't wait for Tommy Makem. It's amazing that he's here and I'm so excited!!!

And now I have to go so I'll leave this. *sigh* Does it ever end? The business? I have no time for anything.

Exhaustion Already?

I'm already exhausted. And it's only the second week. That is really sad.

So much reading and work. Work's not bad, but the reading is ridiculous in quantity although great in quality. I finished Oreo and Eva's Man. My thesis for Eva's Man is due tomorrow before class and I still have no idea what I'm doing. So I'm screwed. Yeah. Great. Hopefully I'll be overcome with some inspiration before 2pm.

Hung out with James a lot today which was nice and manipulated him into staying in the UC with me until I got off work at 11. (sorry, but I hate walking alone...so thank you. :-) )

Things with Kate are supposedly "back to normal," and although they are all "normal" on the outside, everything is awkward and nothing can be the same again because I messed up and now she can't trust me and I know that and I can't trust myself with anything.

More problems with other people. Batman stalking me everywhere and driving me insane. Best friend not talking to me for whatever reason. "I'm busy." I told him that his little scheme with calling me on the way to events and never any other times (as in I get two seconds of his time and it feels as if he feels obligated to talk to me) and how it's fine that he calls me for little intervals but bad that he doesn't give more time otherwise. So I guess he felt obligated and now he won't talk. Whatever. His problem.

I just want to do my work and not think about anything else because it's all trivial and stupid but I'm human and of course everything else intrudes.

I should be getting to bed. Long day tomorrow. But Tommy Makem is coming Friday! If I didn't have that awful art history lecture at 12 on Friday, James was willing to give up his invitation so I could go meet him. I told him he didn't have to do that but that it was sweet anyway. Adam got me and Kate tickets and James is working backstage (lucky him!) and it'll be great. I can't wait. So at least I have something to look forward to.

Ithaca Thoughts for Dan

It's simple the way things work in the world. They're born and then they die. And in the end, they Scatter. Which brings us all back to the beginning. The angel wishes to Scatter.

I remember, vaguely, the moment I decided to remove myself from the Scattering, the moment I decided to become of the Living. I have sworn to the angel that I will not Scatter, but I will suffer for Eternity, with him.

What will become Erasmus? He will join it again and I will feel him everywhere but I will still be Ithaca. That's the curse and the blessing of Heaven and Earth--you're always yourself in the end.

Awfulness

Last night was interesting. Went back to my room from Shabbat dinner early because I wasn't in a people mood and watched Chasing Amy. Then I went up on the roof with James, Kate, Adam, Billie, and Sean.

Then, all hell broke loose. Lindsay called and hung up. Billie grabbed the phone and "called her" and blabbed about whatever only she called her house and got her mom at 1 something in the morning! Then I was an idiot and ruined everything with Kate.

After, I went crazy and ended up in Dan and James' room until 4:30 in the morning when Dan walked me home.

So I called Lindsay's parents and apologized. Talked to Kate who says "everything's fine" but it's really not because I ruined it and things won't be the same. So, considering I have so much actual studying and no real time for people, I have a good excuse to avoid people the entire semester except when I'm at work.

Speaking of work, I have it from 10-2 tomorrow and every Sunday this semester. Yay! I love Sunday morning when it's empty and quiet. It's a nice time for me to chill and relax and read and play guitar or whatever. Tomorrow it'll be mostly reading and doing whatever set ups they have for me.

It's been really warm the past few days...60's and 50's. But tomorrow we have a high of 33 and snow all day. Lovely. Just what I need.

Mark's not calling me back or calling me at all anymore. So tough on him. I'm sick of these stupid men everywhere. And girls. (Except for Lindsay and Emma.) I think, mainly, I'm sick of people for the most part.

It's nice that someone actually cares about me to write me nice notes on my blog. Thank you. It's greatly appreciated because everyone else in my life makes me into a piece of crap. And you make me into something I actually admire. Which is awesome. I love you.

Anyhow, since I have work tomorrow and it's 12:30 and I still have to get ready for bed and finish my chapter in Oreo, I should be going. More later.

Week One

So I've been in class all day. And studied all day yesterday (even while I was hanging out with everyone in my room). In all, the studying amounted to sixteen hours until some idiot pulled the fire alarm at 12:40 am and we all had to take to the hills. Poor Jordana (my roomie) was in the shower. I hiked with Lukas over to Josh's in Bullock and what a pain. James and Dan AND Jon and Matt weren't in their rooms! WTF is THAT!?!?

Anyhow, the classes are amazing. US History Since 1865 with Professor Amy Richter. I went to talk to her during office hours yesterday and it was great! I took 6 pages of notes back and front on Reconstruction today. The reading is intense but great. After that, I headed off to Tzila Bitcharone's class. Went to lunch, went to go pick up Bitcharone's book and she wasn't there when she said she'd be so I had to wake up early from my nap and go fetch. Ugh. Well, at least it ended up being somewhat productive because I finished the homework and talked to her about studying abroad in Israel and setting up the program through Clark for Junior year so that I could benefit from the fifth year program and not have to deal with a separate graduate school (assuming I have over a 3.25, which hopefully I will).

Then I went to Napier's class. He wasn't high today! I don't know if that was disappointing or not. But the lecture was great anyway. I'm on the first student led panel discussion on this book called Eva's Man for the class. Apparently, it's about a woman who goes to jail for biting off her husband's penis. I told a few of you about this already. But WOW. Anyhow, we're reading Oreo now and it's great! It's about a girl, half Jewish, half black and black-Jewish relations in America etc etc. Riddled with Yiddush and black slang. It's great, satirical and laugh-out-loud funny.

And Freud's in a bit. I finally finished most of my reading for tomorrow. Just a bit left for Art History (Baroque) and I think I'll call my family in the meantime. *Yawns*

Home Sweet Home

Back home finally!! I love Clark!

Hanging out with James while he breaks in his new boots. And then going to work at 5. Pooey. But I'll get some reading done and stuff. Before the semester starts and I can't read for fun anymore. The books look pretty good, though. Got most of them in the mail this morning. Oh, jeez. I could hardly believe the volume of them. It was ridiculous. But Billie, Dan D (the first), and Matt helped me unwrap them and haul them back to my room where they are now happily shelved.

I also got a Chabad mug that sings this annoying Chanukah song everytime you move it. Apparently, I won some contest a while ago where I guessed the right number of dreidels?? I think Josh mentioned something about winning, too. I wonder if everyone won.

James is watching me write this. He said so.

Anyway, I got back last night. Separated from Kate who took my bag with her on the limo and I went on to the commuter rail. Well, we went from 70 degree weather to -16. Isn't that great? I got on the silver line to South Station from the airport and this old guy in a long black leather coat and a bright red cowboy hat was sitting in the seat in front of me and kept turning around and staring at me and Marty Jr. He suddenly says :

"Mama say you ain't 'lowed to play no GI-tar hair."

And I'm like WTF.

It was a bit odd. I wondered for a minute if I'd actually arrived in Boston yet...

Then I met Lukas randomly when we got off the train in Worcester. I met a nice guy on the train who listened to all of "Blueprints" which was pretty impressive. Anyhow, Lukas and I went over and retrieved my suitcase from Kate and went to dinner. Then Beth came over after Lukas left. And here we are today. James is leaving. :-(