More of an Update

Hi, for those of you who actually read this. I didn't really say what was going on last time, except that I was lonely. Part of that was due to the fact that I was alone in an Emergency Room unable to breathe for a few hours a few days before last entry. When I'm sick, I just like the comfort of someone I know really well to be there with me. Of course, I called Mark as soon as I got back. Then my parents in the morning...who sent the nebulizer finally (after the fact).

It took me about a week to fully recover. I did finally get my bank account working, so I was able to go to Provincetown and see Robert's awesome bloodworks show. It was nice hearing a southern accent and seeing people I know from home. Funny, I can't believe I miss the South.

A lot has happened in this week, though. I made new friends. Naomi and Jake. Both live on my hall. I was playing with Jake for a while...up until tonight, in fact, when we realized that the fact that I've never had music lessons ever makes it almost impossible for him to be able to play with me even though it sounds awesome with a bass backing me up. I think I should just give up music and stick to silent writing.

Whatever. We'll see. I'm not so lonely...since I started getting better. But I decided to call Anthony two days ago. So he came to visit me yesterday/today. It was nice, but we'll never be what we used to be. I can't, really, after everything he did. Even though he can feel, which means that he can possibly be human, it can never be the same again. And since Mark is exactly what he always could be now, I see what really matters completely. Like I told him, I can't put everything I am into a friend and not get anything back. It's detrimental and corrosive to me from the inside out.

But I have my best friend back and that's all that ever mattered, because I hold true to my wish: One Friend is just enough, nothing else. Just one.

And I have it. The world could die, but if my friend were there, none of it would be so terrible, because I wouldn't be alone. Because I am not alone.