Explosion Due to Me as Usual

Latest news: Noah is sick and has been throwing up all day. Mom told me to go make angel hair noodles so she can make cold sesame noodles for dinner. I'm having tuna. I made the stupid noodles and clodded out everywhere, spilled boiling water all over my foot and sprayed freezing water everywhere.

Then, she goes downstairs to make the sauce, etcetera and Dad and Noah and Sam and I are all watching Seinfeld and Everybody Loves Raymond when this huge explosion comes from downstairs. Dad goes down and this is what I hear:

"Fine! We're all stupid!" says Dad.
"Yeah, you all are. I tell people how to do things a million times and they never fucking do it!"
"Then you married an idiot and all your children are stupid!"
"Good. Then take them and leave me," says Bitch of the Universe.
"Here we go again," Dad says.
"What did I do?" I ask when he gets upstairs.
"Nothing. It wasn't you it wasn't you it wasn't you it wasn't you it wasn't you."
But of course it was me.

I don't even remember doing it. But of course it was me.

"What did I do?" I asked my fuming mother who is uglier than usual.
"Nothing."
"Then what happened?"
"SOMEONE PUT THE FUCKING BLENDER AWAY WRONG! HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU MORONS HOW TO DO IT? AND HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DON'T YOU LISTEN? WE WASTE SO MUCH MONEY ON THIS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT."

Great. So it probably was me.

"I WANT TO BREAK THE PERSON'S FUCKING NECK, WHOEVER DID THIS!" she screams.
"Fine. Then break mine."
"Go the hell away."
"Great."

Oh I love my mother. I'm just so special to her, it's amazing. Everything I do, she's super proud of, and everything I don't do, she's still super proud of. So proud she wants me dead and has no qualms about telling me she "fucking [wants] to break [my] neck".

I can't wait to get the hell out of this place. You know, Dad should take all of her idiot children and himself and leave her. Who the hell needs a bitch like that around? Everything's fine when she's not around. And Sam told me...Noah was fine and happy this morning--until he went downstairs and gave our mother a hug. Immediately after that he started throwing up and hasn't been able to stop. See? She's the devil. And she curses all of us. And hates me worst just because I exist.