So here is a moral dilemma:
Lie to myself and regret that. Or tell the truth and let it all crash.
But this is the truth. This is the truth and I can't deny it anymore. The world is smaller than you think, sometimes too small, sometimes not enough.

It's just the right size right now. And even though it hurts when it comes to distance and even though I know it always will, I build a wall around myself to block out all that pain. But now it's different because I can't build a wall when it comes to certain people and sometimes, they break them all down so I begin again without any defenses. It's better this way because it's worth all the pain to discover true human emotion.

But this is my life. This is my life and I own it for the first time. I can't let anyone take that away. Not for anything. Not for gratification or guilt or any of that because I'm not selling out. I wouldn't ask anyone else to do that for me even if deep down inside I wished they would.

It's good now, though. Because I've always lived for other people. I've always been the self-cop out. The moment I made up my mind to own myself, the world began to change and so did I. For the better. Because that's what made it happy. That's what makes it good. That's what makes it great. Even when it's horrible. I live for myself, not for anyone else. Not for a future date, not for the past and not for selfish motivation, but just for the chance to see my whole picture. Otherwise, I'd wilt and let everyone down in trying to help them.

I live for myself. And that makes all the difference.