I think people like to make things into complications when it's the simplest thing in the world. I think people would prefer the lie (which is a complication) to the truth because sometimes simplicity is incomprehensible.

Like I've always said, there was only one thing I ever wanted and that was a friend. It took me a few to get there but I finally found it. I found more than I wished for and it was well worth the wait. But some people can't understand that friendship can exist without "wanting more." The more I tell the truth, the more they believe it's a lie. But I refuse to lie in order to give them an answer they would prefer. What really gets me is the fact that it wouldn't matter even if the lie was the truth.

I suppose I'm an anomaly in this world. I put everything into a friendship where almost everyone else puts it into romance. As soon as "romance" enters the equation, the relationship and my idea of it is automatically demoted to something trivial and inconsequential.

Yet I love just as intensely, just as much. Maybe more, because I never stop loving where anyone can get over a romance. At least most of the time. Unfortunately, friendship isn't enough for people. They want more. They want bodies, and that is something I do not want of someone I value. Trust me, plenty of opportunity I had to go in that direction if I had wanted. But I value friendship much more than that.

Nevertheless, I have been slighted. I have been tossed away because friendship is worthless in his eyes, or at least not nearly as wonderful as the flippant and ephemeral kind of love.

My love is not ephemeral, despite what may have ended and what may come back. My love is of a greater height, an ethereal height, a lasting height. It hurts so much it kills me while making me more alive. Even though I lose the friends, I don't ever lose the love.

Unfortunately, this time, I lost more than one. And this time, I am done. There's nothing to really think about now. We weren't enough. We weren't ever enough.