From a Brink to Nowhere

It's nice to know that someone loves you. Right now I can't really say anything else. But it's all I can think about because my entire life has been shattered and built up again and shattered and built up again, over and over for as long as I can remember--and never once has anyone let me know definitively before. Even though I had to start it myself, I still know. Considering that, also, I've never wanted to do that before and never thought it was very important,but I have never agonized over saying something for so long, either.

But it's nice to know. It lets you know (it lets me know) that I really am someone to someone else. It's even better because the someone else is the most important someone in my life. Right now is strange, because we're all on the brink of ---Who Knows? Life is changing, just beginning. And ending in every way we've ever known.

(Side note...Sam just walked in and says "If you take music, you don't have to take PE. I think I'll be taking music and playing the flute." I say: "What if you can't make a sound on the flute...like me?" And he says "You don't practice wind instruments" and whips out a whoopi cushion. HAHAHA. It was HILARIOUS.)

Anyhow, if this end is the beginning of the rest of it, I'm absolutely in love with it. I'm absolutely in love with it. Here are promises, swears, dreams--all made possible, and all made probable by no other than impossibility:
I will never lose the wonder of a child.
I will always have hope, because the thing you've lost faith in is just around the corner and most likely better than you've been dreaming.
Things work out in the little ways and that's what counts.
Humanity will never transcend its beast, but the individual can. Be one. (Not all.)
Life is beautiful even with its hell.

Life beautiful, because even in the night, there are stars; and if the night is cloudy, sometimes clouds bring rain and the morning will be green; and if the clouds don't bring rain and only overcast, imagine what's beyond it and it will sustain you...because it's better than reality. But when the wind blows the clouds away and the stars shine again and you find yourself longing for them, know they'll be there for the human eternity--if one is destroyed, it's death is beautiful, too, just like creation. And when night fades away and the stars disappear, the day comes with the brightest star of all. And if the clouds come then, too, just remember, they'll either bring more life--or remember that they can't stay forever.

But if you're stuck inside and can't see any of this because you have no windows...go further into yourself, to when you were a child, to when you were an infant. For the infant sees the world with more clarity than anyone else: everything is miraculous and new. Nothing surprises the infant because every single thing is astounding. Be the infant. Be the eye that blinks.

I am the eye that blinks.